To be honest, we are all terrified of death,
especially as we do not know when it will
come to us all.
In all fairness, it is a very serious issue that
you may wonder why I make light of it in this
article.
I am guilty as charged. But I promise if you
read on, you may just come to understand the
ephemeral nature of life and why being too
serious is such a drag.
It's alright to chuckle and giggle behind your
phones. In Timaya's voice... "This life, I can't
kill myself..."
1. Harry Houdini
This known illusionist died by one of his
own tricks. You obviously can cheat nature
for too long.
own tricks. You obviously can cheat nature
for too long.
Cause of Death: Stomach Boxing.
One of his many tricks was to brazenly hold
a punch to his stomach like one would hold
a grudge, by stiffening his abdominal
muscles. But nature served him his tea, hot,
as Houdini got punched without first
stiffening his muscles. He suffered days
later from the after-effects of his own trick
and a ruptured app
endix.
2. Hans Steininger
Steininger's death was literally a "the evil
you do would come back to haunt you",
kind of death. To keep a beard is
much chore, but then to keep one that
long?
Who even does that? STEININGER!
you do would come back to haunt you",
kind of death. To keep a beard is
much chore, but then to keep one that
long?
Who even does that? STEININGER!
Cause of Death: Death by Beard.
Yup. This man who lived in the 16th
century, in a place that is now Austria, kept
a beard that was four-foot-long, and kept it
in a pouch for safekeeping.
One night while trying to flee when his
house was on fire, he tried to 'unwrap' the
beard from its pouch, but somehow tripped
on it and broke his neck.
Ouch!
house was on fire, he tried to 'unwrap' the
beard from its pouch, but somehow tripped
on it and broke his neck.
Ouch!
3. Sherwood Anderson
Not to make fun of his death, but this great
American novelist was put to rest by
something so very small, it is almost
implausible.
American novelist was put to rest by
something so very small, it is almost
implausible.
Cause of Death: Punctured by a
Toothpick.
On a cruise to South America with his wife,
Sherwood had complained of severe
abdominal discomforts, and stopped at a
hospital in Panama for treatments. But he
died later of peritonitis—an inflammation
of the tissue lining the abdomen, whichwas
later revealed through autopsy, was caused
by a toothpick he accidentally swallowed
while consuming a hors d'oeuvres. The
small toothpick punctured his internal
organs and caused a mighty infection that
claimed his life in 1941.
4. Tycho Brahe
Tycho Brahe was a famous astronomer of
the 16th century whose work is famed tobe
nearly as important as Copernicus' in
developing modern astronomy.
the 16th century whose work is famed tobe
nearly as important as Copernicus' in
developing modern astronomy.
But he knew more of mathematics and so
little of health sciences that he paid dearly
for it.
Cause of Death: Burst Bladder.
This math genius thought it rude to excuse
himself at a dinner banquet, and held his
pee throughout the Royal banquet. This led
to a bladder ailment that killed him in
1601.
Despite rumors that he was poisoned,
autopsy by danish scientists in 2010
showed
he most likely died from a ruptured
bladder.
So when next you're thinking of sucking up
your pee, let Brahe's name ring a bell
.
5. Clement Vallandigham
This remarkable lawyer was in the middle
of demonstrating how another man may
have accidentally shot himself, when he in
fact killed himself.
of demonstrating how another man may
have accidentally shot himself, when he in
fact killed himself.
Cause of Death: Accidental Suicide.
In July 1871, former congressman,
Clement,
who turned lawyer, was making frantic
efforts to show his fellow lawyers how the
victim in a saloon shoot out may have died.
In a slight mistake that caused him his life,
Clement picked up one of the two pistols
seated on the table and unfortunately went
for the loaded one.
The rest was history.
6. President Felix Faure
What better way than to die in the arms of
your lover? Only that in this case,
Marguerite Steinheil was a 'baroness', with
a penchant for affairs with many other
influential men.
your lover? Only that in this case,
Marguerite Steinheil was a 'baroness', with
a penchant for affairs with many other
influential men.
Cause of Death: Stroke of Pleasure.
Felix François Faure's case was the literal
"no go dey do pass yourself" type of case.
For the 58 year old man took an
aphrodisiac that was supposed to make
him
perform the herculean sex task, but ended
up in a stroke midway to orgasm.
Funny, huh?
This unusual death of the President, spiked
sarcastic comments around 19th century
France. For example, Georges Clemenceau
summarised his death in a few, but explicit,
words: “The voulait être César, the ne fut
que Pompée” (could mean both “he wished
to be Caesar, but ended up as Pompey”, or
“he wished to be Caesar and ended up
being blown”). You should know also that,
"pomper" in French means oral sex. This
further depicts that Felix was having his
horn blown when he 'blew'.
Enjoying this article so far? Click here to
read about 10 insanely ridiculous
marriages to things other than a human.
7. Aeschylus
This Greek playwright, known as the father
of Greek Tragedy, died from the funniest
reason so far on our list.
of Greek Tragedy, died from the funniest
reason so far on our list.
Cause of Death: Mistaken (territorial)
identity.
No written account truly knows if
Aeschylus had a head that shone like
polished glass.
But it is known that in 455BC, while taking
a walk in his yard, an eagle threw a
tortoise
on his head, in the hopes that it was a
sturdy rock capable of smashing the shellof
a reptile.
8. Arius
Arius was one of the earliest heretics of
Christianity in the 4th century AD.
Cause of Death: How do I say this? He
shat his bowels out.
No kidding. He did it in a public toilet.
While it was rumoured that he was
poisoned, a sort of political assassination.
Others say he was smitten by God for
heresy.
While it was rumoured that he was
poisoned, a sort of political assassination.
Others say he was smitten by God for
heresy.
Heresy or not, according to one of his
political opponents: "A faintness came over
him, and together with the evacuations his
bowels protruded, followed by a copious
hemorrhage, and the descent of the smaller
intestines: moreover portions of his spleen
and liver were brought off in the effusion
of
blood, so that he almost immediately died."
This is enough imagery to last you and me
both, a lifetime.
9. Queen Sunandha
Next time you crave the Royal life with all
its luxuries, remember Queen Sunandha.
its luxuries, remember Queen Sunandha.
Cause of Death: Unadulterated Blue
Blood.
In a place that is now Thailand, a queen
was left to drown because of the blue blood
that flowed through her veins.
Perhaps it was believed then, that a
commoner's touch will adulterate her
majesty's distinguished blood type. Which
was very silly and hilarious because, other
than face capital punishment for touching
the Queen, they rather just let her and one-
year-old baby drown at sea, when their
boat capsized in 1880.
What do they say about choosing the lesser
evil?
10. Attila the Hun
.
This warlord of the 5th century AD thatwas
feared for his war tactics, was not killed by
the Romans or the Goths, but by his own
foolery.
Cause of Death: A wine too many.
Just kidding. It was in fact a nosebleed,
brought upon him by his overindulgence in
453AD.
What was that saying again? "If God wills
it,
even a fly could kill a King."
Such truth. But Attila's was a keg too many.
On his wedding day to the fairest Ildico, he
drank late into the night, so much so that
he
did into a stupor and choked on his own
blood.
Think about it this way, have you ever been
so wasted that getting up to use the loo was
a drag, that you'd rather just shit yourself?
Yup. That's exactly the picture I'm trying to
paint with this Hungarian warrior.
There you have it! 10 horrific and hilarious
deaths of people that are now history.
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